After recently reading about the on-line gaming craze known as “Second Life,” that’s been gaining popularity, I thought about creating a character for myself. I’d always been a fan of simulation and role playing games so this seemed like a game that would be right down my alley. I started skimming the context of how-to’s the site had to offer. I thought about what name I’d like to have, what type of world I’d like to live in, even what field of work I thought would fulfill my character’s life. All these thoughts and considerations just got me contemplating my own life, or the lack there of.
I began to analyze my life and what was making me tick these days. It was something I honestly hadn’t put much thought into lately. Four months ago I was planning a wedding and a future. Being the Karmicly challenged person I am however, that future was no more. I had once again gone through splits-ville. That special place where every reservation is for a party of one. At first glance, I wanted to point the finger at the latest jilted lover on my list, luckily I took the time to look a little further.
I looked at every failed relationship, every false presumption, every placated blame, and what I came to was one harsh truth. I really was the problem. We’ve all heard the old cliche, “It’s not you, it’s me.” I realized that when you really think about it… it’s true. Whether you’ve cycled through more lovers than your local YMCA has members or it’s just one major screw up, look no further for the reasons than your own bathroom mirror. Seriously, think about this with me for a few moments. There are literally dozens of viable reasons this is true but I’ll stick to the basics for today.
No matter which type of lover you’ve battled with the problem probably lies in your taste. People don’t have strings of bad relationships for no reason. If everyone turns into a nut-job then your basic attractions probably fall back to partners with problems. If you find your prospects have unhealthy tendencies in their relationships with the opposite sexed parent then you might be looking for someone who’s easy to control. Whether these are intentional attractions or you just don’t know any better you still need to realize that the only way to change this is by learning new skills and habits in dating. Unless of course you enjoy your current string of luck, be it good or bad.
All people dating, men and women alike, need to step back, look around, and say to themselves, “Hey I’m sick of losers, so I shouldn’t be a loser either.” That doesn’t mean you need to change who you are, just realize that you need to be looking for someone who’s looking for someone like you. That said, this also means we need to quit living a “Second Life” expecting to impress someone who doesn’t even know if they want the first you, the real you. I mean how can they know, you can’t let them know who that is when you don’t even know who that is. The only way we can do this is by living our first lives.
When you live your first life to the max you simple don’t need a second one. Most likely you won’t have time for a “Second Life” if your real life is fulfilled. I mean who would you be more interested in, the person who’s absolved in some other world or someone living in this existence, who actually still remembers the real world. In a time where so much is controlled by technology don’t let “Life” as we know it become something we play on the computer, instead learn what makes you tick. That way when someone comes along, that could love you and you could love back, your not to busy playing a game to fully appreciate it.
